Thursday, January 28, 2010


is what i become
having gone from one trial to another
seen the goliaths being slain
that even the lion and the hyena
that lurks on that dark path
that i tread on with my two wheel
in the forest that leads to the main road
to life's sweetest dreams
from the village of my past
will one day
one day, one day, one day,
be enclosed by an electric fence
that will just make it sport for me
then i will be happy
to go and snap pictures
while in the security of my four wheel

Sunset on a Furahiday

Look the speed took you
away in time Maybe even space.
Or maybe fright.
The four four driven beyond
Allowed flight
Nice weekend to you
Just before you know it
Another freight
Monday is here!

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Walking back?
The same shoes i walked in?
all the way are they not finished?
With stillettos on me now?
so you can imagine the damage am doing
if i walk right back
or even may break the both our bones
cos i notice the floor is so slippery
and my stillettos gonna leave a huge pothole
and my ankles gonna break
and my soles gonna be numb
and my soul is gonna be torn
and my memories are gonna be back
no, am not taking a walk
down that path
it will simply kill me;
even you too.

Friday, January 22, 2010

stolen is sweet

goldenberg was a microscope
angloleasing was a binoculars
politician was a thief
who decided to see
and look and see
then he saw and stole
then like a child
hands dipped into the sugar dish
mouth full of the sugar
he announced
look, see,
here lies a new invention
i have made a new discovery
eating sugar is actually sweet
angloleasing, goldenberg

forgiveness? how-be-it?

Mmmh? forgive?
So hard. I have agonized
a pigs life?
For a chickens love?
Cause you never fail to produce the
But refuse to realise
That for me to bring forth the bacon
I must die

who wants a brainee?

nay this brain thingi will not bring food to table....but my money would.
This brain will be too serious
When all I want is some minutes of pleasure
Even if I was to buy
Or entice you
Make you see and visualize my sixpack
Above your one pack
You thought I did not have a brain?
Didn't I just prove
It dwells in between
My pants?

me i want those kisses

Kiss, lips, gosh...
My girl says I be the best

I can't stop kissing her though
Cos she admits without knowing
She has kissed or been kissed by others

I love her kisses too
I have to do so
Cos they are hottest lips those
And I quite understand
When I have to share that hotness
With other wannabes.

help from unexpected quarters

really...strong hands indeed.
Made from something
I dont quite like.
Someone would despise
One who i would pass
Without halloing

They say
Fimbo ya mbali
Haiuwi nyoka
Your neighbour
Yes that obnoxious one
Will be the first
To answer to your
Obvious cry

swaleh mdoe

Swaleh Mdoe:

Niki angalia kopo langu la saa, naona saa moja imekatika dakika takriban kumi na kenda.....
Siku moja.....Babu alipimwa damu kwa kidole na Nurse ikawa damu haitoki. Ilimbidi NURSE amunyonye kidole ndiyo damu itoke.. BABU kuona raha akasema mkojo pia haitoki.....Tafakari Hayo.


I'm having trouble remembering where the lines cross your face
Your smile is fading from memory
Wont you hurry back and fill that space again?

I'm waiting, watching the rain, quietly willing the phone to ring
I suspect this healthy silence,
Will continue a few days yet

I'm hanging here just reminiscing
About all the things you said to me
Hoping you plan on returning to interrupt my reverie

You're sweet, sweeter than honey tea
You're precious and worth more than gold to me
I'm head over heels over feet for you

Monday, January 18, 2010


2009 was peculiar. Being the year of being near jacked....and lost precious stuff on my phone including church notes. The phone is another matter

I am at the mall late evening one day in March meeting a prospective client. The mall at know convinience? Mmmh met my client at Tamambo restaurant, nice place by the way, really cool place that for serious chit chat, deal closure etc etc... So after some considerable damage to my pocket on this evening by my worthy client, we call it an evening. As i go down the stairs at the mall, i remember i need to make certain payments in the morning. So against better judgement i go to pesapoint and withdraw the maximum allowable mmmmh 20k!

Unbeknown to me someone had been watching me since my arrival some two hours earlier. I had come and parked beside the main entrance. A marked person.

The person happened to be a 'policeman', fully uniformed, G3 in hand and like a dog that carefully knows its master has just left the bar with leftover bones, this dog met me at the main entrance....the dog wagged its tongue...i stopped to listen. Nice cop, by the way, meeting me for first time and having such a cool demeanour, knowledge of current affairs, polished English.... God knows, since i saw the stress these guys expose themselves to provide us mortals with security during the election fiasco time, i have been kinda soft listening i did. Ten minutes later I have to remind myself am getting late. The 'policeman' bids me farewell. I head for my car which is just 10 metres across from where we are standing. I enter the car and by now my police friend really is so cool, he becomes my eyes at my njoo, njoo tu...its clear, kata sasa ok.... Obviously after such a gesture, you wanna appreciate ama? So yes i roll down my passenger window just to let him know he is cool, then comes his wagging tongue again....since boss you are going towards town, just lift me upto waumini house? Mmmmh? Did i think twice...hell no. Some voice told me something was wrong, lakini this guy is fly, so cool...ok, I say and open the door for him.

20 Metres out of location the guy turns to me and he is like....'i say boss, forget all you heard from me. (more like saying This is a hold up) just give me all the money you withdrew just a few moments ago...' am like 'but, but, but....., ' he is like 'you heard me rigght. Count all of it.' So i reach my pocket and remove my porch....he goes like...can we get more from Atm? And am like what? The ATM gave am getting sick. Cos i am diabetic, slight strange people giving strange edits bring strnge reaction on my sugars.

'this is not enough money.' he says. 'Could you surrender your phone too? Now now i did not mind the phone. But those notes, random poems and notes joted on the jam?...well i lost them least for life was at stake

Now i thought this my experience was tough one....but i have this friend of mine whose experience was from jupiter, I think. You see he is a sexholic sirnonymous. So one night he is driving down westlands road and guess what? The twilight girls are on the road. Now SS looks at the hordes of girls calling him honey and finds one almost apart from the rest and opens his Merc for the girl.

Now this guy though driving a merc does not see the need to spend in a nice lodging to satisfy his he asks the gal where they should go. She has a ready answer....a parking lot in a certain basement....mmmmh it was going to be so cheap...and he could have sex with her in HIs cushioned merc...nice huh?
So off they go....into a basement. The gal asks him for 100 shillings parking fee to pay the askaris...which SS my tycoon pal pays.. When the gal comes she is rearing to go down on him...mmmmmh the works, the SS goes crazy with anticipation...then the gal tells him she will 'BBBJ' him first...he gets into frenzy. This is so perfect, so he believes. Just when he is about to feel loss of brakes a torch lights the dark sky next to his car. His doors are being swung open. A policeman appears with a powerful sony phone that snaps him guy is so afraid. You see he is a father of a boy who is very proud of him. He is a mover of sorts within his sphere of influence. Now this policeman has perfect proof of what has been caught on camera...his dick...his face...

SS has to locate his trouser, which he had
removed in a frenzy of passionate feeling. His trouser now in one corner of the car, one side leg inside out..the policeman is barking Orders...toka,toka,toka....nini hii mnafanya hapa malaya nyinyi nyote? Poor SS now resigns to trying to negotiate. The policeman says to him that the offence will land him in prison or 120k fine...SS Thinks about his wife and child....what will he say to them?

'surely officer, there must be something somehow we can do about this.' ss pleads. Hakuna, says the policeman, 'hii umalaya hautafanya hapa tena...Ok?' officer, tuongee kama wanaume, niko na ngiri moja hapa... Officer laughs scornfully...'leo utalala ndani hata wewe malaya msichana, toa pesa au ulale..

SS now knows his game has come to an undesired end. The hard on he had developed now a limp worm like thing, the condom earlier worn still on it....

Tunaenda polisi the askari gets into the front seat, G3 on afterthought.....'how much can you raise?' wapi ATM card? SS remembers he has some cash.....SS is released after quite some haggling.

he however replays in his mind. the hooker had already been paid. The hooker in the confusion had seen where SS had dropped his wallet and hooked out the money in the wallet. SS goes to Westlands the MALL and withdraws some money in the company of the police and the hooker.

Later SS notices he had been duped. this was a classic gang of thieves. the hooker was all the time in the game with the police person.And it was not a policeman anyway.

SS had met his match. He was 20,000/= poorer by midnight.


Two more weeks and the public justice murder a police rogue in uniform for harrasing wanainchi at night within the westlands area. SS was elated.... Me? I think so too.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The essence of a woman

Taking time off to do some volunteering work has been amazing and challenging but I would do it all over again given the chance. Walked into the centre and it was like I never left, it was filled with familiar faces and some not so familiar and before I knew it I was sent off to work running workshops and doing what came so naturally connecting with my girls some of them older than me some younger but it didn't matter. Some younger girls caught my attention during recess as they twirled around pretending to be dancing at a ball and they were a vision of beauty. Their faces all lit up and flashed pink cheeks from all the laughing and dancing lost in a world of their own. Caught up in the moment I totally forgot I was conversing with two other girls who were taken by the view as well. One of them remarked that they would have loved to be pretty and to my horror the other said that she was cursed to have been born pretty.

Now my girls have had issues in their lives that would break any ones heart hearing their stories and we are working on rebuilding them but those comments got me thinking how women generally ache over the issue of beauty. Its true of every woman even those who might think are totally accomplished with self confidence. We ache to be beautiful, to believe we are beautiful and worry over keeping it if ever we can.

We sometimes beat ourselves up because we simply do not measure up. When the picture on the mirror doesn't match the cover of the magazine and we become consumed with our insecurities. Now the desire to be beautiful has caused many women untold grief(how many diets have you been on?) Countless tears have been shed and hearts broken in its pursuit. For others beauty has been shamed,used and abused. Some have learnt that possessing beauty can be dangerous. And yet- and this is just astounding- in spite of all the pain and distress that beauty has caused us as women the desire remains. But all these self help remedies never fill the gaping holes in our lives, they are never enough because sooner or later we find ourselves back in the same position of feeling unwanted, unseen, unsought, uncertain.

It doesn't stop at the outward beauty but more a desire to be captivating in the depths of who you are. Outward beauty would be hollow were it not for the beauty of the heart.

A dear friend once said to me that a woman was the Master's finishing touch, the crescendo, the crown of creation ( this was during one of my rants of how I wish sometimes I had been born male). Beauty is an essence that dwells within every woman, given to you by God.

Beauty is the most essential and yes, the most misunderstood of all feminine qualities. However its an essence that every woman carries from the moment of her creation. The only things standing in the way of our beauty are our doubts and fears, and the hiding and striving we fall to as a result.

Monday, January 11, 2010

You got me good

I wait in the silence to hear your voice, just to hear your call
And I will catch the intonation of every syllable as it falls
No one can replace it, my words cannot attain it
Your love is boundless, without condition, I fumble with words to explain it
Warm me with your love, thaw my unbelief
Lift me from the floor and place me back upon my feet
You renew my strength so I can walk and not faint
My hope is in you, you have my heart and my faith

Where would I be without you?
My skin crawls with the very thought of a world without you
And even if I die, I know that I cannot be without you
Cause the afterlife means that after life I'll never be without you
But for now I'll focus on the time on earth we share
And when the silence fall, you're there
Still waiting to care for any load I have to bear
So in the silence of these moments, my heart whispers this prayer

When hope is lost, I'll call you saviour
When pain surrounds, I'll call you healer
When the silence falls, you'll be the song within my heart

Insecurities have me going insane, I've never been so lame
Your voice to me is calming like rain on a window pane
What I didnt deserve, you covered with your loving words
You reached out and embraced me, without you I am flakey
But now I am all new cos your love completely remakes me
Ever you will be the song of my heart regardless
Cos you are the light of life that got sparked in my darkness

Inspite of all my failures and mistakes,my shame and disgrace
You took my life and covered it with grace
I know that all my steps are ordered by you
And so I step with confidence because your love is true
When I'm tossed by life's winds and waves
I'm not afraid cos you've got power, you're mighty to save
Not too concerned even when alone
I know late into the night when tears fall you hold me

I will praise you, when the tears fall, still I will sing
I will praise you, through the suffering, still I will sing

Take my state of heart
Take my state of mind
Take the fear I have
Take the pain I hide

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Hopeless Romantic

I'm saying sorry in advance cos this wont always got to plan
Though we dont mean to take our love for granted
It is in our nature to forget what matters
When the going is getting tough
And we're all about giving up
Things that we never thought we'd gonna say
Gonna say them
Things we never thought we'd play
Gonna play them
It aint perfect but its worth it
And its always getting better
Its gonna take time to make it right
Cos I'm still learning the art of love
I'm still trying not to mess it up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out for me
If I ever hurt you it not my intention
Cos we're gonna make mistakes
Find out how much your heart can take
But I know you've got my back
And baby I got yours
Sometimes I'm gonna miss
I'm still learning how to give
I'm not giving up
I'm still learning how to love
I'm gonna get it right sometimes
While I am learning the art of love
But when I stumble
You need to let me know
You need to spell it out

Monday, January 4, 2010

Dreaming again

Holding his hand on a starry night I asked what the future held for me
Would I be pretty? Would I be famous? Would I be a scholar? Would I...?
He laughed and said...child you will be whatever you set your heart on being
And let no one tell you that you cannot be, the canvas is blank colour it bright
Reaching for the sky will only be selling yourself short
So spread your wings and prepare for flight
Watching out for the plans heaven has for you
For they will sure unfold as you grow
Dream big child, having faith in those dreams
Dare to do great things even what seems laughable

I dreamt, filled with hope and a passion
The world was mine for the taking
I could do the impossible, reach the unreachable
I acquired trophies and titles
I pushed through barriers and jumped huddles
But not without cost
With disappointments, bruises and wounds
With hurts that threatened to tear me apart
I even lost a bit of self
Somehow along the way I stopped dreaming
The flame of hope dwindled to a flicker
Then it all together died
Passion replaced by existence not living at all
However I dare to dream again

I dare to hope and have faith
Rediscovering the heart of that young girl
A heart not jaded
The girl who thought she could do the impossible

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I have built a city here
With walls as tall as can be
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I dont want to be safe tonight
Feels like the walls are caving
My back is against the wall
And I want to crumble
Breaking free of my bondage
I need you like a hurricane
thunder crushing wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn this walls down
Dont wait for an invitation
Cos I lack the strength to ask
Knock through and get to me