Me

Strong on the outside
But coming apart at the seams
Thats me
Hidding in my skin
Broken from within
Tragically always together
But bruised underneath
Thats me
I stand just to stumble
I trip on my pride
Why do I always try to hide
But you see the real me
Unveil me completely
I am loosening my grasp
There is no need to mask my frailty

Patiently waiting to pick up
The pieces of me
Thats you
Healer of hearts
When the world leaves it broken in two
That's always You
You stretch your arms to reach for me
Weaving the tattered fabric of my life
Into a perfect tapestry
Wonderful, Beautiful
Thats what you see
When you look at me
Cos you see the real me

Company I keep

I have realised or it has been pointed out to me then when I am undergoing and internal crisis I tend to organised my external surrounding, cleaning and tidying obsessively in a bid to get some calm.....may be true...someone should have warned me about making friends with psychology geeks

Anyhu, I was having one of those days of frantically organising my already neat and tidy office cause for many reasons am unsettled. Halfway through the day I caught my reflection in the ladies( perfect thinking place) and noticed my eyebrows that were quickly turning into a monobrow....get that on my to do list which was growing longer than a mile...move it to the top of the list I suppose.

Some workmate of mine/friend/strange annoying person/dont know why we are friends cos he is so annoying, was booking some beauty treatment using my phone( wonder why) in my working space( cluttering, invasion of personal space). I asked him to book me in for an EYEBROW wax latest time they had and shooed him out to get on with work.

Cancelled meeting GREAT snicked out of office headed for the beauty spot met receptionist who always looks bored and caked with make up showed me to the rooms and in came an oriental woman with heavy accent asking why I was still dressed. Stunned she carried on talking muttering stuff I could hardly hear asked whether it was brazillian or bikini now that had me off the bed and reaching for the door. She asks where u go me not done nothing and in my head I was like yeah and you aint going to be doing anything anywhere near there.

She opened the door and shouted at the forever bored receptionist asking what kind of wax I was having. The place was packed with middle aged women escaping their NOT stressful lives and the Chinx is going she say(pointing at me) eyebrow you(receptionist) say brazil then she( pointing to some other beautician) say bikini..wot do? Wow I had my fill of embarrassment and left with my monobrow.

How did a simple eyebrow wax turn into waxing of my bits...........then it hit me the idiot of a friend had decided to pull a fast one on me.

Need to get him back...I will be having the last laugh

Stolen Memories

You called at my door, I was elated but surprised
Cos you've been gone a long while
Not that I was taking note...
Well maybe I was
It was strange yet familiar
Like you never left
But all that changed with a single hallo
Awkwardness erased by the hug
The lingering scent thats is so you
We talked for what seemed like ages
But it wasnt enough
For so much more was left unsaid
As we bridged the gap
Created by the lapse of time
Amazing how we find our way back
To the unhurried banter
Comfortable silences
Exhilarating laughter
Regardless of the separation
In time and place
So when you gone again tomorrow
I will look back to yesterday
And be thankful for the memories

What's on my mind?

Alot is on my mind,
Alot that I want to say
So much more
Than could fit on a FB update
Lately my smile has been on holiday
My mind, consumed with one thought
Why we dont seem to get along
How we have become experts
On avoiding each other lately
I am so wound up inside
I could literally snap
The tension is gnawing at me
But you dont seem to see
That I am fading away
Slowly dying, only existing
You dont understand
I cannot be held back
You are only delaying the inevitable
I only wish you would let me be
Conventional has never been my style
Dont try to change me to conform
Accept me just as I am
I pave my own way
Never walking in paths marked by others
Thats the only way of discovering who I be
It doesnt matter if it hurts me
I will pick myself up and start over
There is no way I will unravel
I am tightly held together
I am exhausted from the bickering
I ask for understanding
And a little faith
To find my feet to walk, run
Then wings to fly and soar
Just let me be

Blogwebs

Its been a tough call Keeping up with blogworld? I visited today and found cobwebs(BLOGWEBS) and i said to meself let me go clean them first (read-catch up with all other posts of blogworld then i come)

Chao

Stranger

I find myself looking at you

Stranger I thought I knew

Harsh words came like a dart

Sharp arrows pierced my heart

Then I said some things out of spite

And so I should apologise

I would take them back

If only I could

So where do we go from here

Going back to where we began

Is wishing for the fallen stars

See, whenever I see you

It all comes rushing back

Years gone, the impact fades

There is no more pain

Just a dull ache

With a longing for days gone by

I hold nothing against you

Wishing you well in all you do

Rejoicing always over your well being

For what I loved

I could not hate

But so long

Stranger who was friend

For my heart is numb

Almost without feeling

Somehow frozen in time

But so in need of healing

When I look back

In the years to come

I will smile

For having met you

Jimmy Choo

My first day back to work after an amazing holiday in the sun. Sun is out but the air is crisp cold. Favourite outfit on and to top it, my new Jimmy's a birthday gift from a dear friend. Oh yeah it was my birthday the end of last month , the celebrations are still stretching on and I had a blast mmmmmmh the memories..... but I digress

The girl was looking good and feeling good, the sun does work wonders indeed. Hadnt felt that energetic and enthused for a while. Checked into work, run a few errands and decided to pay my bank a visit. Havent been in a branch for months courtesy of internet banking but since I was in town thought I would do it the old fashioned way.

That went pretty well untill I walked out of the building and crossed the road which was clear at the time, I checked because I have been known to step out into traffic whilst busy on the phone. Halfway across my precious shoe heel gets stuck in a manhole or was it a drain? No idea but the point is I was stuck and traffic started building up. I didnt want to yank the heel and damage my gorgeous shoe( I am a shoe fanatic...thats the only thing I think I obsess over). so I fumbled with the straps and claps to get it off and that wasnt working with my hands full of paperwork.

I didnt dare look up cos I knew there was a queue of cars with impatient drivers who didnt give a damn about my stuck shoe. I was nearly in tears when a very nice gentleman got off his stunning Audi A5 sportback( Yes I can tell car makes and models not ur typical gal huh?) and asked if he could help. I appreciated this gesture untill he decided to pull my leg which would damage my shoe instead of trying to get it off my foot first then gently prise it off the hole it was stuck in. I asked him to hold my stuff while I took my shoe off and went on my knees to free it. By this time I had turned into some kind of a show with drivers getting off their cars to witness the hold up, passersby and guys from the bank who included my bank manager....he is never going to approve that loan now. This probably lasted a few minutes but it seemed like a decade of embarrassment.

Problem solved I was on my way rather hurriedly after thanking the kind gentleman whom I have bumped into too many times than I would like to mention after that incident. It seems like everywhere I go he shows up. Stalker???????

Lonely

I was at a loss for words so I borrowed...

These arms of mine, they are lonely
Lonely and feeling blue

These arms of mine are yearning
Yearning from wanting you

And if you would let them hold you
Oh how grateful I will be

These arms of mine are burning,
Burning from wanting to hold you

And if you would let them hold you
Oh how grateful I will be

I need me somebody, somebody to treat me right
I need you arms, your loving arms to hold me tight

I need your tender lips to hold me
To hold me together when I'm around you

Good bye?

What is so good about it?
The pain that tears through me
When you turn to leave?
The unspoken begging words
To make you stay.. a little longer?
The indecision of whether to follow?
The uncertainity of leaving?
The longing that overwhelms
As soon as the parting words are whispered?
The tears that roll unstopped?
The sadness enveloping like a blanket?
The immesurable ache to have you close?
Feeling everything and yet nothing?
The hope I cling to that you will return?
The empty days,countless minutes that roll on?
The anticipation that you might not come back?
What is so good about the goodbye?

Wanjiku Mwaurah

wanjikumwaurah
you are one of a kind
i find your pen superior
it writes and writes
it glides and glides
its more that kilometric
that pen that wrote so well

where do you buy your ink?
does it come with so much thought?
does the ink bear so much feeling?
I wonder
where can i buy mine?
i wonder
is there a path on the paper
that speaks to the ink
to dry in certain format?

WanjikuMwaurah
live forever
live forever
live forever

What matters

I am sinking in the river that is raging
Slowly drowning
Its so hard to stand on sinking sand
My feet need to find solid ground
Will I ever rise to breathe easy again
I wanna know why
I just wanna understand why
Will I ever know why?
How could this be from Your hand?
I am trembling in the darkness of my fear
All the questions without answers
So grip me while I am here
And I may never know why
I may not understand
But I will trust in Your plan
And when it seems the walls of my beliefs
Come crashing down like they are made of sand
I wont let go of You now
Because I know
You're not shaken
You're my constant
My rock, my solid ground
My unchanging

The library has burnt down

Excuses, many a number,
Everyday, everyday.
A library, a pen, a notebook
Just falls
Into a bonfire....
Lit with lazy ease
Ten times i see you run
Reminiscing over your literary past
Each time i hear you say
Your collection
Your heritage
Has burnt down again

Because of why

Because of why?
I am too self centred
and I have standards for you
so my eyes see but what i want you to be

because of why?
your tongue not mine needs to be bridled
tantrums? no way
keep smiling...only then you'll remain an angel

because of why?
Puulliiise...am not about to cry or weep because You are
Comfort? comfort? comfort? this comfort not from me
I crave the one I saw...the one who attracted me first

Because of Why

Something different

I saw you from across the street and had to do a double take
You looked so familiar and I was sure I knew you but didnt recognise you
There was something different about you
A sense of all brand new
The airs around you
The ring in your laughter
The confidence you exuded
The manner in which you carried yourself
I was looking at a total transformation
So long gone was the uneasy girl
The one who looked uncomfortable in their own skin
The broken little girl
Whose eyes told of horrors unknown
For those who cared to look deeper
With bent over shoulders
That seemed to bear the weight of the world
A world riddled with unimaginable pain and misery
The silly me couldnt help but cry
Not out of sorrow
But Joy beyond words
For the light shinning in you
Could light up the darkest of corners
How you laughed at my fussing
Then you said thank you
And I didnt understand
For I had no part in this
It was always within you
To walk away
To choose life
To move forward
And not look back
No, thank you
For allowing me to share
In this great miracle
The miracle of you
So baby go ahead and smile
Cos when you do, you sure do light up the world

Not sure

What is the medicine that can be applied on a friend who is a bit confused....? Ok it is a she. She is a girl and a friend. So because i knew what you'd think if straight away i said girlfriend, i have avoided letting you in on that.

There are many reasons she's confused. Her boyfriend of two years wont attend her graduation...so now you know she is in college....the damsels' distraught. She has been faithful to this her guy and she feels let down.

So today she calls me up. A side kick is coming up in her life. She's missed sex and binge...she wants these two so bad...so she's a friend, am not sure whether to feel jealous, warn her against it, nudge her on etc, but she really sounds like she's not going to be in for a break until her pal takes her out..so i encourage her to go out with him but take care....expecting her to read in between the lines...then i see on fb her status is like...'i must have IT this weekend'....then a few hours later the status is changed to 'f***'...and a few guys dash to her wall and they are asking....me?, me?, me?...

So as i type this for reading by you, i am asking, do you think am jealous or protective by trying to tell her to go but be careful...is someone able to really drink and still be sane? I know her parents would die if the truth came out. So yes...blogthren...share your thoughts...

Hey check this out...I know the owner

Do you want this car?

I can hook you up

GO GO GO...

Since I am becoming an avowed admirer of nice pieces, here is one stolen from here

Lionel Richie feat Akon - Just Go Lyrics

(Lionel Richie)
It’d be so nice (nice nice)
If you didn’t have to feel so lonely
It’d be so nice (nice nice)
If I could sneak you for a moment

I know you like to get away, go away, far away
To a place where there’s just us two
Got a busy day, everyday but not today
Cause I’m here to take that stress from you

So you can just chill and clear your head
And let me do everything for you cause you deserve it
Prepare your meal and make your bed
Well let just first make this with youcause you are so worth it

(Akon)I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go
I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go

(Lionel Richie)How would you like to sail away in the Bahamas?
(Just you and me, girl)
So far out in the sea where nobody can find you
(Just the end of the world)

Cause there is no rush for you to come back and face the rain
Cause there is plenty sunshine where I pickin’ you
And I’m here to reduce the pain
I know you like to get away, go away, far away

To a place where there’s just us two
Got a busy day, everyday but not today
Cause I’m Here to take that stress from you
So you can just chill and clear your head
And let me do everything for you cause you deserve it
Prepare your meal and make your bed
Well let just first make this with you cause you are so worth it

(Akon)I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go
I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go

(Lionel Richie)Just imagine when you tired and
Layin’ by my side and
Sippin’ on some wine while I stand in massage and
Releasein’ all your tension I couldn’t handle a time and

My job is to keep my baby smilin’
So you can just chill
And clear your head
And let me do everything for you cause you deserve it

Prepare your meal and make your bed
Well let just first make this with you cause you are so worth it

(Akon)I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go
I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go
I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go
I just want us to go go go
Drop everything and just go go go

Nothing to say

Several times
I wrote to a friend of mine
he ignored
he kept quiet
he, an old aquaintance
we did ministry
worked together
lived together
competed together
He taught me how to sing
but no matter what i tell him
he does not say anything
is there something i did?
me do not know
if i made him mad
or its only because
my old friend simply has
nothing to say

A Decade

Time goes by, hurried, slow, it moves on noticed or unnoticed.

There have been graduations, first jobs, weddings, births and even deaths

Outwardly life has moved on as it should but on the inside, time stood still cos some things dont change

Like the gaping holes in our hearts which you occupied and how much you are missed each day.

You were missed when D n J walked down the aisle on their weddings days- you would have been so proud.

You were missing on the graduations and your "well done" speech that you always wrote down so you wouldnt forget any detail.

Your strength that we always counted on was missing when we lost Ry

I would give anything to see you with Sandie, she is so adorable and such a joy.

You've been gone a while now and I smile whenever I think of where you are is where you always wanted to be and I bet it feels good to feel the weight of this world off your shoulders now.

But I see you all around me, in the unassuming manner of the boys and some of their mannerisms, in the gentleness of J and the protectiveness of D. Little reminders of who you were.

So dont be mad if I cry but it just hurts so bad sometimes and I am long done in asking the question why cos I guess the answer is for another time.

I pray with every tear and am thankful for the time I held you here

I wanna live my life just like you did

Make most of my time just like you did

I want to make my home up in the skies just like you did

But until I get there, save a place for me cos I will be there someday

...Some ding I say?

Neglected I see..........mmmh my blog i mean

until some unsolicited mail from fb came through...hahahaha....Shiko Msa saw it...twas yours truly.......anyway, i dont remember sending some mail to my blog.....

Seeing my lack of something to say, I decided to steal this from here

In fish market on Jalan Pearl

I meet a nice and plitty girl,

so then I say,

"New bike today!

We have adventure? Give it whirl!"

She look at me and then my bike

(coz no two bike they look alike);

she say to me

"Don't know your fee

but you can save me big long hike.

"So then I say (not want bad luck)

"You no ploblem wid two duck?

She look surplise

and blink her eyes

and call me ding what sound like 'schmuck'.

I have slight ploblem wid my 'd's

they make me sound like dumb Chinese

I try say 'duck'which sound like 'suck'

and so she sit between my knees!

I only try to make a clack

about my sucks,

they on the back

so if she hear

a sound bit queer

then it just all my sucks go QUACK

I don't know why she sit that way...

maybe she think that how she pay

for this short ride

...okay, I lied!...

maybe we stay on road all day!

Gym Session

I decided a while ago to use the company's many benefits and got myself and two of my friends registered at a gym. Now before you go thinking I am some health freak, I would like to make it known that I hate exercising and dieting. All the craze about losing weight or gaining it grinds on me. However I am forced to get my heart pumping at a faster rate than usual once in a while for medic reasons.

Anyhu the gym is fab top of the range stuff but what got me is that there are male and female areas divided by some reflecting mirrors as if you would like to look at yourself when you all hot and sweaty. My good old friend changes into her gear carries her water bottle and a mag and sits close to me reading and chatting while I work the treadmill.She is there for moral support she says. Other day my other friend who is a guy picked my towel by mistake so I went to retrieve it( its allowed to venture on both sides). When I turned round to head back, I could see the whole of the girls section. Turns out that the guys can see us but we cant see them.

I found this thoroughly amusing and it got funnier when I thought of all the stuff OTHER gals had done thinking it was an all gals space and there was no male audience. The guys begged me not to say anything as the view motivated them to get on with keeping fit. I am torn should I tell or shouldn't I tell n why the heck is it ok for them to watch us n not for us to watch them????????

Well next time I am choosing a treadmill that faces backwards so they can watch my back as I try to decide whether to blow the whistle or not

AWARDING HOTNESS HONESTY

Seeing that the fellow KK found Me to be honest, i must tell it as it is. It is my weakness to be too honest. My attempt to do otherwise ALWAYS catches up with me...like if i tell you i've never lied....or stolen....or committed the attrocity to some commandments....am honest....I (did) probably doing all that Even now.

So I am the proud holder of this award. Reminds me recently while attending some awards session for banks in Kenya, I was hoping and praying that they would call my bank. Being the senior most person from my bank then, i was imagining how i'd walk down the aisle to the stage...almost imagining that i'd walk dancing and show some inward dancing moves....never mind that i cant rate my dancing...somehow in public my body stiffles up and i cant dance no more...So yes, my bank was a winner......but i almost tripped as i walked down...I blame the DJ....he did not synchronise me well with some 'stand up for the champions' by Right Said Fred. Hehehehe...

So I wish to look at ten things about me.....To avoid being more like a boring MC....'now we are going to see so and so and they are going to present this and that and it is about those and them and they are going to do that and this', I will try to be short and juicy...

So yes KK THANKS For the (s)crap.

1. I am a man......got to qualify this....I am a MAN....ok ok i share this blog with two beautiful women, Extravagantgrace and Charm.....but joyunspeakable is a man....a few of you have refered to me as her....she.....she(joyunspeakable) is a HE.


2. I sing alot.....I still think that one day I'll beat nameless and Eric Wainaina at it...I get depressed when I see am older than them by far and still not as good as they are....but hey i can do music....I've not played the piano for the last two years though....and am hopping to play sax and violin......honest.....i'll be turning forty next year and life as they say begins at....watch this space for new talent.


3. I am hard of head...Yes...they asked me in an interview I attended last year what my weakness was and i told them hard-headedness....the fellows went ahead to give me a poor offer and expected me to change my mind? I dont win debates for nothing.....


4. at first sight...maybe forever...i appear very proud, full of myself, a-care-for-nothing-else snob.....I learn this everyday with those who care to chat with me. They get to know me and they get shocked.....am approachable after all


5. too lenghthy preaching bores me...whether written or spoken, even stories that dont change in focus after a while lose me.....am not a stickler to the bold and beautiful....the long preachings found in daily facebook devotionals really drive me crazy....am a brief person. I talk for five minutes if am asked to speak for 5....why the heck should i blubber a point I made 20 minutes ago? why do you think i should listen to you for so long...phhhlease...i switched off when the Spirit told me you had veared off(read TIRED).....keeping on the point above, One day i want to train preachers to introduce 5 sec commercial talk that will yield more than the one hour sermon ....'bibilia inasema.....alipitia katikati yao na hawakumuona'. (SWAHILI FOR bible says he passed in their midst but they did not see him).


6. I love sex long and explicit........AND yes am married with two brightest kids.....


7. I have worked for close to 19 years now....I did my undergraduate while still working. I am toying with postgraduate course...i work close to 12 hours per day...my first pay was only Kshs 700/= only of which I would pay 350/= to the landlord....I once lived in Swahili house whose neighbour was better endowed than me and whose cookery of meat smell while would float over my house....trouble is I would afford unga for ugali and onions, so it was common to fry water with onions......and salt!!!! Since my house and my neighbours shared a wall and had no ceiling, a friend of mine who was living off me would help me say......'mmmh na hii nyama ni poa' (as in this meat really tastes nice) then we would wave our ugali up to catch a whiff-bit of the air flowing from my neighbours house.....


8. Mugithi does it for me......if there was any music i love dancing to....you got it right....No...am no kikuyu.......


9. I have flown a few times.......locally......I still die for an opportunity to fly out of Kenya and be in the sky for 14 hours........


10. I am diabetic...just in case you see me behaving funny in your midst in a state of confusion....just give me a sweet....and i will be alright....really!

now for this, i dont care if you have been tagged again.....i start from my favourite......no no......just no order...

the following have been noted and prized with Honest Weblog.

Shiko, CANTE, pretty, ngare, mwari, Bsilent, OYIN, maua, farmgal, karambu rafiki

Now for the rules

1.You must brag about the award - Check

2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger - Check

3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog.
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on with the instructions!

Joy Unspeakable

Shiko wrote a quote from here and I was elated...

men that Ruth Gendler is something with all them qualities and am gonna look for the book to read.

Now Joyunspeakable...
not me but the real one
Yes that one that is not happenstance
you know the one that is deep
So deep that you cant go under it
So wide that you cant go round it
so high that you cant get over it...
Joyunspeakable

I saw my beloved and I was happy
I saw a mark of approval and my face beamed
I heard them praising me and what a feeling
they applauded me...yeah
Man of the moment
so they said

Then the day passed....
the waters went dry.....
the birds of the forest ran away
No chirping, no laughter
dryness everywhere
It was not happening
The frogs died

How can I justify a smile
when am broke
and no one is for me
am not on the winning edge
I have grown older
My wrinkles show
My face tells nothing
but pity, sadness, hopelessness

Joyunspeakable....
like the light of day
that fails not in the tropics
Oh how warm
the lovely sunshine from it
the youthfulness and splendour
Nothing like it
Happiness everlasting
Not from happenings
Joy forever
deep

Kuku Wewe

Just when i was preparing to go to work this morning my five year old son looked at me smiling and calls me 'kuku wewe'

It happened to me today. My son, smiled and called me that....and I had to wonder, is it too much tv news watching on obako? Is it that am that weak as in he sees a chicken in me? Is it that he just learnt the phrase and thought 'hey this is a nice one to surprise dad with' or Is it that he thinks himself a kuku's relative.

As a matter of fact I just had to ask him 'hey son, what does that make you be? A kuku's son?' He remained mumm...still smiling.....I feel like spanking him but that smile is too innocent so i let him go......for a while...cos my neighbours' kid comes calling me and tells me that my son(again?) has called her some funny name....Now is my turn to revenge or so i feel...then i call the kid to come over. He had sensed danger and had run to the sitting room to hide.....I call him...two..three..fouRTH time (note emphasis on 4th time for the pitch of my voice)....the boy comes wearing that cheeky smile again...am disarmed....ok the boy has to learn some manners...so i hold him by the ear..no...not pinch......just so that i can have an eye to eye contact with him. My pitch is still high as am talking to him......'it's wrong to call others names son, apologise and don't do that again'.

That leaves him feeling reeeaaaal bad...am not sure if to be happy at the discipline measure i've used. I plead with him to hug me as i go to work. He does so half heartedly....

BLACK FOREST CAKE

Imagine Black forest cake
hairy, many bushes, trees bake
treasure Island not fake
Raisins in it sweet i take

pleasure hides in there
sweetness dwells in here
sugar deep down there
chocolate taste out of this world

I hold my knife in my hands
the cake inviting and daring
the sharp of it to penetrate
black forest cake's pleasure
is to be eaten up

My knife eager to slice you
to cut through your softness
feel the power of your sweetness
feel the crisp of the fruit raisins in you

My tongue trembles after you
Saliva full in the mouth
anticipating the whole
not minding the sugar levels

My tongue your tremble does feel
how fragile you are.....so supple
completely weak as my knife slices you
Limb and resigned from declining
you too wanna go down my mouth

You threw my underwear away

Tatters..covered nothing
rugged...had grown discloured
smelly....you said it was
disused.....had seen better days
you threw my underwear away....

litters...all the years...frothing
mugged..like it was marred
silly...oops.... alas!
abused...had been bitter days
you threw my underwear away...

Ill fitting you said it was
exposing all my wares, made you embarassed
I grew to love it....
like the moon doesn't forget its place at night
so was my underwear to me

Saunters...not caring for a thing
bagged in by a craving so tarred
billy the he goat as he often does
loosed kid bin litter diss
My underwear thrown away

FACING THE TURBULENCE

Life is made up of unknowns
we must never lose sight of hope
we must be broken from familiar ground
cos on that familiar ground is complacency
Laziness, bigotry, pride, i-know-it-all...

but rarely do we
have everything we want
never shall we stop needing

so while you shy away lest you be shamed
men and women like you and me born
swim off all the turbulent waves
and recover in more ways than one everything stolen and lost

here, near you

NOTHING LIKE THIS

Baby...

There's a sizzling chemistry between us

Its crazy! ...
I think of every moment
We were together
I can feel the sensation in my body.
To have you swim in the flesh...

Oh, I'd die with pleasure...

But you have to promise
That you'll not walk
Away from me after that...
and leave me
Loving you and hating you
For loving me and leaving me..

Re: sad today?

KenyanChick

this is dedicated to you.

Perhaps it was the pull on language

your blog made it known to us

what it is to be a kenyan

hard habits die hard

Perharps ours is the heritage

that tells us to expect a bus

load full of kenylon

bad habits die hard

now i keep following your message

a feed i have on you became has..

became 'has been' was fashion

fad you created will die hard

Come back....your words will massage

or make us laugh loads

your sayings a battalion

anaa day desserted

Everything

I'm the one with two left feet standing on a lonely street

I cant even walk a straight line

And very time you look at me I'm spinning like an autumn leaf

Bound to hit the bottom sometime

Where would I be without someone to save me

Someone who wont let me fall

You are everything that I believe for

Everything that I cant believe is happening

You're standing right infront of me with arms wide open

All I know is everyday is filled with hope

Cos you are everything that I believe for

And I cant help but breathe you in, breathe again

Feeling all this life within every single beat of my haeart

I'm the one with big mistakes, big regrets and bigger breaks

Than I ever care to confess

But you're the one who looks at me and sees what I was meant to be

More than just a beautiful mess

You're everything good in my life

Everything honest and true

And all of thos stars hanging up in the sky

Could never shine brighter than you.....you are everything

you are the love of my life

Ur my one true love. U fill my heart with longing for u, ur touch, ur special embrace, ur smile that tells me i belong. Ur actions towards me that tell me u never tire of me. Nothing in me makes u think am crazy, though i often see myself as such. U have loved me, sorouded me with great belief, trust n confidence. Ur not like the rest. U give enough reasons to love u over n over again. Many times my love to u is wanting. It does not sacrifice as u did. It does not give back to u as u did. Am selfish. I only come to u wen in need. Other times i just satisfy myself with the world around me. I forget it is ur riches am enjoying, ur grace that am spending, which u have issued to me like a blank cheque. U keep giving me showers of ur blessings. I love u but my love falls short..just like i fall short of ur glory. U have stood ur ground to defend me. U have made me ur jewel, the apple of ur eye. Am so blessed to be ur own my love.

If I was God

If I was God, I'd move around. I observe. I love the sound. My motive. To be profound. Mysteries to solve...' true to this i believe many times i want to be the most wise, the most important. I see others..they are all wrong. Who thought like that...they could have thought differently....the rest are all sinners worthy of punishment. They are gossips, idlers, i condemn them to utter darkness....they fornicate...the others. They kill... Them...they are hypocrites..those...they are in the list of hell....i observed all along i knew they were doomed to fail...excommunicate Them...they need to expelled from the community of believers...exterminate the vermin...they are drunkards...So, on and on i love playing God. I love passing judgement. I love finding others guilty. Am happy if my friends are caught in trouble. I play God....but this is all vanity. Cos without mercy, forgiveness and love i am nothing....lets then quit playing God and offer true restoration and reconciliation to those who we deem to be far from grace... Yes......as 'I move around. I should observe. I sound love only. My motive love only. profound joy will come wen there are Mysteries to solve...'

Keys

Note: Romans 8:28 all things work together for good to those who love God, and to those who are called according to his purpose. Be happy for who ur. U can think. Thank God. It is an ability given specially to you. U can comprehend. Surely you are kept here on earth for far greater things than you know. Nothing from God comes cheaply. We Have to work for it. Kings search for things which are not clear. Do u know which mysteries are hidden in you? There are mysteries hidden in you. Do you know what gates are open for you? There are gates in your life, some closed, others open. Is there a point where the gates are continually open? We have the keys but sometimes the fact that we have the keys is useless if we dont know where to use them. Which key is for which gate? Its for you to find out TODAY...no eye has seen wat God is about to do. No ear has heard. I was put together for such a time as this.

in love

I die and resurrect at your call and talk and words. Who is so attuned to my needs like you are?
Only you mean so much. am just so helpless at you. Do I need help?...

No...I'd rather have you carry my heart cos I know its safe and nothing's gonna spoil on it.
 Am in love and my heart knows it too well
 

Do I like controversy?

I kinda like bashin guys n that makes me feel good wen they bash me too n it becomes a boxin ring. Maybe i make up for my size wen i was young. Everyone used to threaten me. The fact that i can now win a war on words is amazing.... Or so i think.

Thanks to my nice cousins tim n sam i can engage a constructive war of words....maybe its destructive. However i remember my young days wit nostalgic fear.

There was this beautiful girl in class four who took the pride off me. Cos instead of cowing down wen i asked her an intimidating question she stood as though to tell me if i ask another question i'd be mince meat. The girl dared me? I felt insulted. A crowd gathered and started encouraging the unimaginable. I had never fought before. Infact i used to run away. Now here all the boys n girls have declared a world war to be fought by me and Mucece. That was her name. Sadly?? the school bell rang..was i not glad.?but then one guy decided the fight wud be rescheduled for the evening. My ego agreed. I was in it. Mucece agreed too. Was she not made of steel or something?

Anyhu, the hearts beat in anticipation of the big fight. For me all my life was at stake. Cos how wud i live after bein congestinad? As in a girl beatin a man. So all the boys and girls gathered around us to witness wat was deemed to be the big fight. Joyunspeakable was deemed to be a weaklin poor thing......now mucece was supposed to challenge me by hittin 'njota ya baba', and she did. She hit the little pebble on my hand. That was deemed to be an alkaida of sorts. I hit her. She responded. Deep within me and within 10 seconds to the fight i knew she was stronger and could probably beat me. I registered fear in me but i cud not run....so i used the only weapon i had...i had long nails. I disfigured her face. She kept hittin me. I kept makin her ugly..the next day her mom came askin me why i beat her angel whom she was groomin me a wife for... It was a stalemate.

So now u know why i love controversies that will not win by anyone..... All who in need of a fight say aye...